Chapter XIII: Epilogue
Leadership Is a Work in Progress
We began this discussion with the premise that there really is not anything new in leadership literature today, and possibly just more repackaging of the old ideas. In finality I maintain that remains true, but where others have attempted to repackage the Ten Commandments or laid claim to a single philosophy as the saving grace of leaders, current and future, I have attempted to simplify volumes of material into four main components of leadership. Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie are four categories that will enhance leadership credentials, comprehension, and competence. After all it is merely treating others as they want to be treated.
Suffice to say there is no single silver bullet in leadership. That is to say a leadership style may be a pejorative figure of speech should it be in name only. Your style may be a hybrid of two or more styles. I anticipate at this point in time the reader realizes that leader must display certain traits or characteristics to be effective with people. Some we have discussed are trust, honesty, credibility, consistency, predictability, operate with stability and not erratic or chaotic behaviors. The leader must be transparent and obviously authentic to followers.
Communications is not merely something required in leadership, it is everything to success. The very best of ideas not conveyed properly is only another idea. Communications is critical regardless if you are an introvert or an extravert. The agency head’s public persona must convey the mission through charismatic tone. A tone that followers find appealing and believable. The message requires appropriate tone and diction that displays a leader’s capability.
The true leader does not exempt civility from the discourse of decision making. He/she does not demand unquestionable loyalty. The true leader embraces environs that provide an atmosphere for creativity and enthusiastic innovation. Environs that establish safe havens for thought provoking ideas that will achieve the most workable decisions. A true leader does not stifle input, they encourage it.
Essential in this discussion of leadership is the building of relationships to achieve mission. True speak is imperative for trouble shooting issues and building relationships. A true leader must require from followers exact specifics and do not permit them to speak in code. Do not permit them to corrupt a brain storming session with PC language that furthers the confusion. Speak plainly, accurately, with specifics and document facts when possible. This means speak from the heart, with well thought out information. Avoid rude, crude, marginalizing language, while remaining honest in conversation. Take on the tough subjects as they are and speak directly to them. Political correctness cannot be permitted to exceed its original purpose for fear of diluting the message.
Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie
As one passes through life there are few certainties that come with living. The one constant that is an irrefutable fact is the sun will rise in the east and will ultimately set in the west (unless you live in Alaska during winter months), and all that you do in-between is how you shall be judged. Many of us have the benefit of knowledge from our parents, mentors, and teachers that provide avenues of skills, knowledge, and experiences that will help guide us along on our journey.
Herein was provided a discussion of four values that will guide you through life, whether you are in a leadership role, educator role, parenting role, or merely trying to make it each day. I am almost embarrassed to provide these to you because of their simplicity, but I shall in-spite of the unfussiness and they are: Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie.
Drink
Drink from the fountain of love, understanding, and compassion. Drink from the cup of empathy, courage, and compassion. Be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, only if for a moment in time. Drink sufficiently so you have the courage to “do the right thing, for the right reason.” A person acting in a fashion that may result in a correct conclusion, but it was not the intention is merely based on luck and should not be confused with courage. Then it really comes down to this; can you say no to bullies; can you reject bigotry; can you discard hatred when it is so easy to grasp and; can you stand against the masses when you are most assuredly right and they are wrong although the path of least resistance is to ignore the issue altogether? May you drink repeatedly from this fountain in order to resist the temptation of painless and effortless survival when you are required to take an unfavorable position during a difficult circumstance?
A significant portion of society have previously traveled this path and generally those that have been successful in their journey have done so because they had taken a drink from the fountain of love, compassion, and understanding and have drunk from the cup of empathy and courage. They also found solace in a good sense of humor, for you see those that do not have a good sense of humor probably do not have much sense at all! These particular folks probably find life uncomplicated and find themselves situated soundly in the black and white side of an issue and probably have never found a need to imbibe from the fountain. Yet, the majority of the populace realizes the grey area is clearly where most reside. That is why it is so important to continually drink from the fountain of love so that strength and relief acquired from the drink may aid in life’s toughest decisions.
When life’s journey has been prosperous, one may find that they have a better home, they may have a better car, they may have better clothes, they may have a better job, or a better education but the fact remains, they are not better. Being better positioned in life or better off does not make one better, in truth they may not be as well off as those living in poverty. Those in poverty may not realize they are poor and in reality may have more from life than those with greater material objects. Those families in poverty or living with less may only have the fountain of love and understanding to get them through each difficulty and in actuality having each other and an opportunity to do something good is significantly greater than a substantial bank account.
I had the opportunity to watch a video Called “Do Right” an inspirational piece narrated by Lou Holtz the famous college football coach. In there was three questions that have stuck with me my entire leadership career. The three questions made the most sense to me then as they do now. They are simply this: Can I trust you, can you trust me? Are you committed to me, am I committed to you? Do you care about me, and do I care about you? These three questions are asked every day in every relationship. If you cannot answer each in the affirmative then perhaps one needs to re-examine the relationship. Chances are you probably do not have a relationship.
Swear
Swear that you will make today the best day of your life. The reality of the situation is it is the first day of the remainder of your life. Swear that you will fill each day with as much as possible and when you put your head on your pillow at night you know you have left little undone. Swear that you will take care of yourself so that you remain healthy. When I speak of health it is important to remain healthy in mind, heart, and intestinal fortitude so that you can make the best decisions that will impact the most people possible. Others that may depend upon you rely on your health because if you are not healthy than you cannot fulfill your goals and mission to others.
Don’t dwell on the things that you did poorly. Take those miscues and turn them into one of life’s lessons. Learn from your mistakes and glean the knowledge of how to do things better. A person that continually sharpens their attitude sharpens the ability to survive with honor. Do not permit yourself to live down to others expectations. Please permit this discussion to make this point by relating the following story:
A young lad from the 60s who freely admits that no one and this means no one had a better time in high school than he. Seldom if ever did he crack a book, complete an assignment nor stay alert in class. The guidance counselor had one file on his desk and it contained this young lads schedule and disciplinary record. This is not to say that he was not capable to do the work because each football and baseball season he actually excelled.
One day the youth walked into the guidance counselors’ office and immediately the counselor asked what class he was thrown out of that day. The counselor looked in the folder and asked, “How in the world did you get kicked out of study hall”? The lad replied that he had not been thrown out, but was there to find a college to attend. The counselor looking over the top of his glasses with a smirk on his face said, “You can’t go to college, you will fail; you have done nothing to academically prepare yourself for the rigors of college.” The counselor was not wrong in the assessment of the young lads’ preparation for college, but had misread his preparation for life. The counselor reiterated his point frantically and almost to the point of lunacy until finally the young lad prevailed.
They collectively located a Junior College in south Florida that would accept the young man. However, he had to take entrance exams of which the counselor voluntarily proctored and sent the sealed documents to the college. The lad was officially accepted with the following caveat; he had to take Math (8:00 a.m.-10:00 a.m.) and English (10:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.) five days a week, no absence was excusable and nothing less than a grade of “C” was acceptable and any grade less is reason for dismissal from the college. The long and short of this story is that he completed a two year degree, his Bachelor degree, a Masters degree and stands before you today (where ever he is standing) with a PhD.
Yet he was told he was going to fail and by prevailing standards he probably should have, but no one was going to set his standards, establish his destiny, or diminish his dreams and aspirations. The guidance counselor may have been correct as to college preparations, but was sorely off center regarding the young man’s attitude.
The counselor eventually found it easier to work with the lad rather than against him and together they resolved a situation that seemed impenetrable. However, the crux of the story remains as plain as the nose on your face and that is prepare yourself early and often keeping your attitude crisp and clear and your goals just one step ahead, flexible and not so lofty that they are unattainable. Had this lad prepared himself adequately, college learning would not have been that difficult. In other words, if he had kept himself healthy in mind, heart, and fortitude he would have rejected the opportunity to be the class clown and accepted the role of student. In doing so he would have maintained his eye on the ball, his end game, where he wanted to go rather than having to make up lost time.
However, remaining is a second point to this story and that is as the old wives tale denotes “Do not judge a book by its cover.” The advent and convenience of contemporary technology has provided quick methods of obtaining information, but most assuredly it does not mean reading a book cover to cover is reading the front cover, rolling it over and reading the back cover. Therein lies the theme principle to leadership, and that is know who you are speaking to, know who your members are, where they are situated, and where they need to go. In all segments of life is growth, absent growth is death, and status quo is mediocrity substantially equivalent to the process of dying while remaining in suitable health. Swear that every effort on your part to create an environment conducive to growing people will be exhausted, and in doing so may snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Just because a standard has been established for a particular occasion or circumstance should not close the door on opportunity. Had this young lad not prevailed he probably would not be writing this script.
Steal
Steal just a moment each day to perform an act of kindness for someone else knowing full well that you are not going to get credit. It is easy to do something good for someone else when it is in your job description or the expectation of some gain on your behalf. Take that moment each day to do something good for someone else and you will find each day more fulfilling. On one occasion while sitting in a restaurant having a quick bite before attending an anticipated strenuous meeting, a young women sitting across the room could only have a worst day if the earth opened up and swallowed her up, and in fact that may have been the only way her day would have gotten better. She was frantically talking on a cell phone and exclaimed her rent check bounced, her job did not come to fruition, her kids are all sick and no health care, her car had just blown an engine and the list went on.
Not that there was already enough on my mind with the forthcoming meeting, but one could not ignore the plight of a fellow human being. Now her list was too long, to wide-ranging to attempt, but maybe one small token of kindness may brighten her day. Upon departing the restaurant her debt was settled and the cashier said this won’t help this girl. The instruction for the cashier was to just tell the young lady to have a brighter day and hopes of things to get better and it will because she is not alone and the donor is anonymous. You see having been in government for near forty years, hope is often all we have to give.
Never again did we meet, but the cashier on another occasion submitted the one lone act of kindness in the midst of all things that could go wrong that morning put a smile on her face. And perhaps one small act of kindness made her a tad bit more positive in her approach to that which was so wrong right then and there. It matters not if all things improved for this young lady immediately, but it does matter that she felt better about addressing her dilemma and perhaps about herself. The principle of this story is regrettably simple, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
Upon the occasion providing an act of kindness that will shine on someone else may serve to fulfill a void in their life at that particular moment that in turn may result in wider opportunity or benefit to that member of society or organization. Providing an act of caring may instill a person with a sense of security and empower them to explore supplemental ventures, a trait found in transformational leaders (Popper & Mayseless, 2002).
Doing something nice for some may have benefits. Below is the George Boldt story as the first manager of the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, NYC.
Lie
Lie down each night and say a little prayer for someone. Say a pray for your mom and dad or grandparent, mentor, teacher or for those in public safety or the men and women serving in our military. Say a little prayer for those who run toward danger when others are running away. Say a little prayer for those who guard your freedoms so you can live the life you live in the fashion you live it, so you can lie down each night and say a prayer to whom you wish without fear of retaliation. Say a prayer because it will make you feel good having demonstrated a thoughtful accord of well wishes for the few that have given so much for the masses.
Upon occasion write down a thankful thought and send it to your mom, dad, or person that has contributed to your well-being. Especially if you are separated by geography due to life’s choices of the moment, and they will read it four to five times a day thinking of you. Lie down at night knowing that you made their day. Lie down each night knowing your successes were probably based on others values and say thank you. This will aid in creating a successful person. Learn that words such as thank you, I believe in you, I care about you, or I trust you may make some other person’s life just a tad bit better. Lie down each night and pray you will make your enduring thoughts become reality.
I wish to leave you with a poem by Dale Wimbrow, called “The Man in the Glass” and it goes like this:
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
and the world makes you king for a day,
just go to the mirror and look at yourself
and see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
and think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
if you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
for he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
if the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
and get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie the four little things so simple they can guide your life so that the man in the glass is happy with you and you with him. I hope you found this material of interest, some humor, some real life episodes that I found embarrassing. I hope you find the inspiration to take on the role before you, you are qualified if you can embed traits and qualities emphasized herein and convey your confidence. You most likely have the right stuff, I will be proud to see you in your new leadership role! So indulge me in a small final prayer for your journey: “Oh Lord, please fix our (Me) Leaders, this time, Amen.” See you along your journey.